Kintsugi is the Japanese art of repairing broken pottery with gold. The gold seam highlights the crack rather than concealing it; it is more beautiful for having been broken and repaired. I think we’re kind of like that.
I believe that working through difficult conflict in a supported, healthy way results in more satisfying solutions for everyone involved.
While we are often able to resolve conflicts as they arise day to day, there are times when you may find yourself in a conflict situation that is beyond your ability to see clearly on our own. At these times, you are wise to seek some support.
Healthy conflict engagement can be learned. You can engage with your conflict situation in a way that leaves you feeling good about how you dealt with it, and even better prepared to handle difficult conflict in the future.
The arena of your conflict may be corporate, non-profit, neighbourhood, family*, business, faith community, strata, social group, or even friendship. Wherever there are people living life along side one another, and there are important things that people care deeply about, there is the potential for conflict.
While some context familiarity may be beneficial to some degree when helping you with your conflict situation, it is more important that I have the capacity to deeply understand you personally, and that I have expertise with the nature of conflict and its resolution.
Whatever conflict situation you are experiencing, reach out and we’ll talk together how best I can support you.
*For family mediation pertaining to custody and parenting agreements, please see the Mediate BC Family Mediator Roster.
What I Do
The most powerful resource anyone has to engage with a difficult conflict situation is themselves. You may have heard the phrase “The only person you can control is yourself.” This is very true when navigating a conflict situation. Understanding yourself is key to being able to strongly represent yourself when negotiating for an outcome that meets your needs, and also matches your sense of personal integrity and values. Coaching allows me to not only help you resolve your current conflict, but also gives you tools to better manage conflict in the future.
Click here for more information about how Coaching works.
When important decisions need to be made, you need to be able to communicate effectively and efficiently, and develop a thorough and creative scope of discussion. As a skilled, outside party, I help you broaden your vision to consider things you might be missing, and check in with you on the value and meaning of the things your are focussing on. As I facilitate your discussion, whether between two people or a larger group, you will be guided to deeply explore the most important aspects that pertain to your specific goals, and you will be supported to generate dynamic and creative decisions that get at the heart of the issue you are grappling with.
Click here for more information about how Facilitated Conversations work.
Talking about conflict can touch sensitive spots for us. During training sessions we come to realize that these experiences with conflict are universal; we are not alone, and struggling with conflict is a normal part of our shared human experience. Training content is adapted to your group’s unique context, making the take-aways meaningful and applicable to real life, right now.
Click here for more information about how Training works.
Resolving your dispute or conflict through Mediation means the difference between you, yourselves, finding a solution that you, yourselves, can agree with, and allowing an arbitrator or judge to make that decision for you. Less expensive than a court proceeding, and less time consuming, Mediation is a preferred course of negotiation for people who really do want to find a solution that will work best for everyone involved, but they are deeply stuck as to how to make that happen.
Click here for more information about how Mediation works.
I do not provide mediation for separation, divorce, or parenting agreements. See Mediate BC’s roster for Family Mediators.
“I was at an impasse in communication with the other party. I felt like my point of view was not being understood. I felt like I had repeated my point over and over again, but it was not being heard.
Lori gave me a clear outline to structure the message I wanted to convey. As well, she coached me to be a better listener and how to stay calm. I was still nervous and unsure leading up to the planned conversation with the other party, however I followed Lori’s plan.
And it worked. The other party and I were able to come to an agreement and understanding in a peaceful way.”
Would you like to discuss how I can help in your current situation?