Coaching can apply to many different scenarios; sports, business, fitness, public speaking, nutrition, life… Pretty much every aspect of life can be the subject for coaching.
In the context of conflict management, coaching refers to one on one interactions in which you explore your specific experiences with conflict in your life. I ask a lot of questions, and I do a lot of listening. You know yourself and your relationship with conflict best, and you know what things you want to be different.
I create space and time for you to discover what needs to be different, and how to make it happen.
- Listening to your story
- Understanding your values
- Noticing themes in your story
- Understanding your goals
- Focussing your attention
- Identifying obstacles
- Clarifying your meaning
- Reflecting back to you what I’m hearing
- Exploring possible actions
- Testing actions against your own values
- Providing tools for action
Coaching Is Not…
- Telling you what to do
- Being a cheerleader
- Correcting your behaviour
- Judging what you say
- Thinking for you
- Approving/Disapproving of your choices
The details which are shared in coaching are confidential except when disclosure is required by law. For instance, the law states that everyone has a duty to report a reason to believe that a child is in need of protection as defined by the Child, Family and Community Service Act. For a full description of the scope of confidentiality, refer to Mediate BC’s Standards of Conduct.
Motivation, Time and Energy
Coaching is a personal decision, and a personal process. You’ve decided to engage in coaching sessions to manage conflict in your life because you are no longer satisfied with how it’s been working out on your own. You want things to be different, and you’re willing to spend the time and energy it will take to find out what’s really going on for you in conflict situations so that you can learn to manage conflict in a better way.
Self Awareness/Self Reflection
The only person you can control in conflict situations is yourself. Understanding your own expectations, behaviour, beliefs, and motivations in conflict is useful to change the way you engage. When you change the way you engage, you will be able to change the outcome.
Coaching is a process in which you are telling your own stories in the presence of a good listener for your own benefit. It is tempting to share a version of ourselves that we think might be more acceptable to “save face”. The quality of coaching will be as good as your stories are honest and true. The honest truth about yourself is solid foundation for developing a better way of engaging in conflict situations.
The ability to see a situation from the perspective of another person is important when discussing conflict management. As you share your story, you may be asked questions which attempt to understand what was happening for the other people in your situations as they have described it themselves. You may not agree with other people’s perspective, and you don’t need to. You will be invited to understand and comprehend others’ perspectives.
Sharing your honest thoughts and feelings needs to be safe from coercion and manipulation, without repercussions of backlash outside of the coaching environment. If there are concerns about this dynamic in your situation, be sure to discuss those with me before beginning any coaching process.
Reach out to me through this website, your own email account, or by phone. We’ll chat for a few minutes to get a good sense of whether coaching is a good fit for your particular situation. There is no charge for this initial conversation. At our first meeting, a contract for coaching services will be signed. This contract also addresses payment of fees.
We will meet together for a one hour session, at the end of which further sessions may be decided. The first session will be spent primarily becoming acquainted with your situation and choosing an area to focus on during coaching.
$125 per hour spent working directly with clients.
Communication takes time, effort and skill
Good communication can be learned and practiced in every area of life
Lori helped me come to the root of what I was struggling with. She provided clarity and understanding and she showed me how to see the situation through a completely new perspective. I walked away knowing so much more about myself and simultaneously felt released from a lot of the pressure I had been putting on myself.
Lori would ask fantastic questions to help me discover the underlying issues of the conflict I was going through and what my real needs were. Her questions challenged me to discover my primary frustrations and what I could do to reach a solution that I was happy with.
Lori works with me, using my strengths and personality to approach the conflict, as opposed to telling me a different way that isn’t authentic or genuinely a part of who I am or how I operate. I leave our coaching sessions feeling valued and appreciated as an individual while also having an action plan and a new approach to my conflict. Lori has helped me immeasurably and I love working with her!
Do you think coaching might help with your current situation?