One interpretation of the name of my practice, “Restored. Conflict Resolution for Life”, might be that the conflict gets resolved in a way that will last a lifetime. “This resolution comes with a lifetime guarantee!” I’m imagining one of those thirty foot tall, noodly limbed, flailing balloon people you often see outside of car dealerships, …
Circumstances alone do not create Problematic Interpersonal Conflict*, we people involved in those circumstances experience Problematic Interpersonal Conflict within ourselves. It is due to our human nature as social, psychological, emotional, spiritual and biological beings that we struggle to be able to cooperate calmly in some conflict situations. Certainly, very high degrees of conflict due …
Amy and Zoe have been friends since their first year of university. They met in their orientation group and kept running into each other here and there in the first term. Finally, they decided to meet up on purpose and their friendship has continued to develop over the last three years. Amy would say that …
Read more “Boundaries #4 – Thoughts and Feelings, Part 2: A Scenario”
The concept of personal boundaries as a method for keeping some things in and some things out can be applied in many areas of life, including our thoughts and feelings. Some of the boundaries we have around our thoughts and feelings are unconsciously made, and other times we realize that we need to consciously develop …
Read more “Boundaries #4 – Thoughts and Feelings, Part 1: Introduction”
Kindness is an essential part of our human relationships and wider society. The most celebrated stories are those in which someone has done, or has been done, a great and unexpected kindness. We are even more deeply touched by kindness which seems to come at a sacrifice to the one extending the kindness, which is …
The longer an ongoing conflict goes unresolved, the more likely that it will be compounded by subsequent events in the conflict situation. The original issue is carried forward into new situations and the other person is painted with a broad brush of negative associations and assumptions. The problem is no longer the problem, the other …
If you are new to the concept of personal boundaries as a way of creating freedom and order in your life, have a look at the blog post titled “Boundaries #1, A (not so) Brief Description”. The establishment and maintenance of personal boundaries is a responsibility. No one can decide for another person what kinds …
There are many types of boundaries. If we tried to list them all, it would fill the page and beyond. Yet, the concept of any kind of boundary we might describe is the same. It is meant to keep some things inside the boundary, and/or keep some things outside the boundary. Some boundaries are for …
I’m sitting across from a recent acquaintance in a coffee shop having a nice visit. We’re discussing a topic on which we share the same point of view. Easy, and enjoyable. Then she starts talking with passion about good living, which I happen to agree with, and I feel myself getting defensive. Why? What would …